A guide to filing for divorce, covering grounds, residency requirements, financial disclosure, child custody considerations, and property division through settlement or trial.
Confirm you meet your state's residency requirement for filing
Most states require 6 months of residency before filing. Some require only 60-90 days (Alaska, Nevada, South Dakota). A few require a full year (Connecticut, New Jersey for fault-based grounds). You must file in the state where you meet residency, not where you married.
Determine whether to file for no-fault or fault-based divorce
All 50 states offer no-fault divorce (irreconcilable differences or irretrievable breakdown). About 30 states also allow fault grounds (adultery, abandonment, cruelty). Fault-based filing can affect alimony awards in some states but is slower and more expensive to prove.
Check if your state has a mandatory separation period before filing
About 12 states require a separation period: 6 months in Maryland and Vermont, 1 year in Virginia and North Carolina, and 2 years in some fault scenarios. During separation, document the date you began living apart — this date affects property division timelines.
Determine if mediation or a parenting class is required before proceeding
About 15 states require mediation before a judge will hear contested custody or property issues. Mediation costs $100-$300 per hour and typically takes 2-5 sessions. About 30 states require divorcing parents to complete a parenting education course ($30-$75 fee, 4-8 hours).
Gather Financial and Personal Documents
Collect the last 3 years of tax returns, W-2s, and 1099s for both spouses
Tax returns reveal income, deductions, and hidden assets. If you don't have copies, request transcripts from the IRS using Form 4506-T (free, arrives in 5-10 business days). Joint returns require only one spouse's signature to request.
Compile 6-12 months of bank statements for all joint and individual accounts
Look for unusual withdrawals, transfers, or spending patterns. Large cash withdrawals in the months before filing are a red flag for hidden assets. Courts can order forensic accounting ($5,000-$20,000) if dissipation of assets is suspected.
List all assets and debts — real estate, vehicles, retirement accounts, credit cards, and loans
Include the date of acquisition and current value for each asset. Property acquired before marriage or through inheritance may be separate property in equitable distribution states. Community property states (9 states including California and Texas) split marital assets 50/50.
Get appraisals for real estate ($300-$500 per property)
Obtain current statements for all retirement and investment accounts
Document all outstanding debts with balances and monthly payments
Gather marriage certificate, prenuptial agreement (if any), and children's birth certificates
If you can't locate the marriage certificate, order a certified copy from the county or state where you married ($10-$30). A prenuptial agreement controls property division unless it's found to be unconscionable or was signed under duress.
Create a monthly budget showing current expenses and post-divorce projected expenses
Include housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance, childcare, and debt payments. This budget directly affects alimony and child support calculations. Courts use specific formulas in most states — the budget helps determine what you need and what you can afford.
File the Divorce Petition
Complete the divorce petition (or complaint for divorce) and file with the court clerk
Filing fees range from $100-$435 depending on the state (California is $435, Texas is $250-$350, New York is $335). Fee waivers are available for low-income filers. The petition states the grounds, lists children, and requests specific relief (custody, support, property).
Serve the divorce papers on your spouse through an approved method
Most states allow personal service by a process server ($40-$100) or sheriff ($25-$60). Some states allow service by certified mail. Your spouse then has 20-30 days to file a response. If they cannot be found, courts may allow service by publication ($100-$200).
File any emergency motions needed — temporary custody, temporary support, or restraining orders
Temporary orders maintain the status quo during divorce proceedings. A motion for temporary child support can be heard within 2-4 weeks. Emergency protective orders (for domestic violence) can be granted the same day. Temporary orders remain in effect until the final decree.
Complete the mandatory financial disclosure forms required by your state
Both spouses must exchange full financial disclosures — income, assets, debts, and expenses. Most states require this within 30-60 days of filing. Hiding assets is perjury. If discovered, the court can award the hidden asset entirely to the other spouse as a penalty.
Negotiate the Settlement
Attempt to negotiate a settlement agreement covering all issues — property, custody, and support
About 95% of divorce cases settle without trial. Collaborative divorce (each spouse has an attorney, no court involvement) costs $5,000-$25,000 total. A contested trial costs $15,000-$100,000+ per spouse. Settling is almost always faster and cheaper.
Joint legal custody is awarded in about 80% of cases. Physical custody can be sole (one parent has the child 70%+ of the time) or shared (roughly equal time). Courts use the 'best interests of the child' standard. A detailed parenting plan with holiday schedules prevents future disputes.
Calculate child support using your state's guidelines
Most states use an income-shares model based on both parents' incomes and the number of overnights with each parent. Online calculators are available for every state. Support typically continues until age 18 (19 in some states, or through college in a few).
Determine alimony (spousal support) amount and duration if applicable
About 40% of divorces involve some form of alimony. Duration correlates with marriage length: marriages under 10 years typically get alimony for half the marriage duration. Marriages over 20 years may qualify for permanent alimony. Tax law since 2019: alimony is not deductible for the payer or taxable to the recipient.
Divide retirement accounts using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)
A QDRO is required to divide 401(k)s and pensions without triggering early withdrawal penalties or taxes. QDRO preparation costs $500-$1,500. The QDRO must be approved by both the court and the plan administrator. Start the QDRO process early — approval can take 2-4 months.
Finalize the Divorce
Submit the settlement agreement (or go to trial) and obtain the final divorce decree
An uncontested divorce (both parties agree) can be finalized in 30-90 days in most states. Contested cases take 6-18 months on average. Some states have mandatory waiting periods after filing: California (6 months), Texas (60 days), New York (none for uncontested).
Update your will, beneficiary designations, power of attorney, and healthcare directive
In about 25 states, divorce automatically revokes provisions naming your ex-spouse in your will. But beneficiary designations on life insurance and retirement accounts are NOT automatically revoked by divorce — you must change these manually or your ex-spouse inherits.
Update your name on identification, accounts, and records if reverting to a prior name
Request the name change in the final divorce decree — this is free and avoids a separate name change petition ($150-$435). Bring the decree to the Social Security Administration first, then the DMV, then banks and other institutions.
File a change of address with the post office and update your voter registration
If you're moving, file the USPS change of address form online (free) or at the post office ($1.10 for identity verification). Update voter registration within 30 days of moving. Notify your children's school and pediatrician of any custody or emergency contact changes.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to get a divorce finalized?
Timeline depends heavily on whether the divorce is contested or uncontested. An uncontested divorce (where both parties agree on all terms) takes 2-6 months in most states. Contested divorces with disputes over custody, property, or support can take 1-3 years. Many states impose a mandatory waiting period after filing: California requires 6 months, Texas 60 days, New York has none. If a separation period is required before filing (12 months in North Carolina, 6 months in Virginia), that adds to the total timeline. This is not legal advice — consult an attorney for your specific situation.
How much does a divorce cost on average?
The average cost of a divorce in the U.S. ranges from $7,000 to $23,000, with attorney fees being the largest expense at $250-$500 per hour. An uncontested divorce handled through mediation or online services can cost as little as $500-$3,000 total. Filing fees alone run $100-$450 depending on the state. Contested divorces involving custody evaluations ($2,500-$10,000), forensic accountants ($5,000-$15,000 for complex assets), and trial preparation can exceed $50,000 per spouse. Pro se (self-represented) filing eliminates attorney fees but is only practical for simple cases with no children and minimal shared assets.
What is the difference between no-fault and fault-based divorce?
In a no-fault divorce, neither spouse must prove wrongdoing — citing irreconcilable differences or irretrievable breakdown is sufficient. All 50 states now allow no-fault divorce. In a fault-based divorce (still available in about 30 states), one spouse alleges specific grounds such as adultery, abandonment, cruelty, or imprisonment. Fault-based filings can affect alimony awards and property division in states like New York and Illinois, but they require evidence and take longer to litigate. Most family law attorneys recommend no-fault filing unless fault grounds would materially change the financial outcome. This is not legal advice — consult an attorney for your specific situation.
How is child custody decided during a divorce?
Courts apply a best interests of the child standard, evaluating factors including each parent's living situation, income stability, involvement in the child's daily life, physical and mental health, and the child's own preferences (typically considered at age 12-14 depending on the state). Physical custody determines where the child lives, while legal custody governs who makes decisions about education, healthcare, and religion. Joint custody arrangements are the default starting point in 46 states. Parenting plans submitted by both parties carry significant weight — judges approve agreed-upon plans about 90% of the time. A Guardian Ad Litem ($1,500-$5,000) may be appointed to independently represent the child's interests in contested cases.
Can I file for divorce in a state I recently moved to?
Most states require you to be a resident for a minimum period before filing: 6 months in California, Florida, and Texas; 90 days in Idaho, Montana, and Washington; 60 days in Nevada. A handful of states like Alaska and South Dakota have no residency requirement at all. Residency is typically established by physical presence plus intent to remain — having a driver's license, voter registration, or lease in the new state strengthens your case. Filing before meeting the residency requirement gives the court grounds to dismiss your petition. If both spouses live in different states, either spouse can file in their state of residence, but the court with jurisdiction over the children is governed by the UCCJEA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act). This is not legal advice — consult an attorney for your specific situation.