Rehearsal Dinner Planning: Hosting the Night Before
Plan and host a rehearsal dinner that brings the wedding party together, runs smoothly, and sets the tone for the big day. Covers venue, guest list, toasts, timeline, and coordination with the wedding schedule.
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Guest List and Invitations
Determine the rehearsal dinner guest list
The traditional guest list includes: the wedding party and their partners, immediate family of both sides, the officiant and their partner, parents of any child attendants, and out-of-town guests. Including out-of-town guests is a generous touch — they traveled far and have nothing else to do that night.
Wedding party and their partners/spouses
Immediate family of both the bride and groom
Officiant and their partner
Out-of-town guests (optional but courteous)
Send rehearsal dinner invitations 4-6 weeks before the wedding
A separate card included with the wedding invitation works well, or send a standalone invitation. For a casual dinner, an email or digital invitation is perfectly acceptable. Include the date, time, location, dress code, and a note about who's hosting.
Collect meal preferences and dietary restrictions
If you're hosting 40+ people at a restaurant, call 2 weeks ahead with the final count and dietary needs. Restaurants that handle rehearsal dinners regularly will ask for this information — have it organized in a single list.
Venue and Menu
Choose a venue that fits the size and vibe
Private dining rooms at restaurants are the most popular choice — they handle food, drinks, and cleanup. Budget $50-$150 per person for a restaurant dinner with drinks. For a more casual vibe, a backyard barbecue, pizza party, or picnic works well and costs 50-70% less.
Restaurant with private dining room
Family home or backyard (casual option)
Event space or rental venue
Book the venue 2-3 months in advance
Private dining rooms at popular restaurants fill up fast, especially on Friday and Saturday evenings. If your rehearsal is on a Friday night in wedding season, book 3-4 months out. Confirm the reservation 1 week before.
Select a menu that contrasts with the wedding menu
If the wedding reception is a formal plated dinner, go casual for the rehearsal — tacos, BBQ, or a family-style Italian spread. If the wedding is a casual buffet, a nicer sit-down rehearsal dinner feels special. Avoid serving the same cuisine two nights in a row.
Choose appetizers or a cocktail hour option
Select 2-3 entree options or a family-style menu
Plan dessert (keep it simple — save the elaborate cake for tomorrow)
Decide on the bar service
Open bar for a small group (20-30 people) runs $500-$1,500 at a restaurant. Wine and beer only saves 30-40%. If the host is budget-conscious, pre-select 2 wines and 2 beers and let guests order cocktails on their own tab. An open bar at the rehearsal when there's also one at the wedding adds up fast.
Toasts and Program
Plan who will give toasts and in what order
The rehearsal dinner is the right venue for longer, personal toasts from parents, siblings, and close friends — the wedding reception should have shorter, crowd-friendly speeches. Cap each toast at 3-5 minutes. Brief speakers in advance so they prepare and stay on time.
Host's welcome toast (traditionally the groom's parents)
Parents of the bride and groom
Siblings or close family members
Close friends (limit to 2-3)
Couple's thank-you toast to close the evening
Prepare a brief slideshow or photo montage (optional)
A 5-8 minute slideshow of childhood and couple photos gets laughs and sets a sentimental tone. Collect photos from both families 2-3 weeks in advance. Check that the venue has a screen or TV you can connect to, and test the connection before guests arrive.
Distribute wedding party gifts during the dinner
The rehearsal dinner is the traditional time to give gifts to bridesmaids, groomsmen, and parents. Budget $50-$150 per wedding party member and $100-$300 per parent. Personal, useful gifts (engraved items, experience gifts, quality accessories) beat generic monogrammed tote bags.
Timeline and Coordination
Schedule the rehearsal at the ceremony venue 1-2 days before the wedding
Most rehearsals take 30-45 minutes. Schedule it for late afternoon (4-5 PM) so you finish with time to get to the dinner. If the ceremony venue charges a rehearsal fee, confirm it's included in your contract — some charge $200-$500 extra.
Confirm venue access time for the rehearsal
Confirm the officiant's attendance at the rehearsal
Run through the full ceremony at the rehearsal
Run through the ceremony twice — the first time to learn the flow, the second to cement it. The officiant should lead the rehearsal and direct everyone. If your officiant can't attend, the wedding coordinator or a stand-in should walk the party through it.
Practice the processional order and timing
Walk through vow positions and ring exchange
Practice the recessional
Assign ushers to seat VIPs and manage the guest flow
Build the rehearsal dinner timeline
End the rehearsal dinner by 9:30-10 PM. The couple and wedding party need sleep — tomorrow is a marathon day. Explicitly announce when the evening is wrapping up: 'Thank you all for being here. Get some rest — tomorrow is going to be amazing.'
Cocktails and arrival: 30-45 minutes
Dinner service: 60-90 minutes
Toasts during or after dinner: 30-45 minutes
Total event: 2.5-3.5 hours
Coordinate logistics between the rehearsal and the wedding morning
Confirm what time the wedding party needs to arrive for hair/makeup or photos
Distribute a printed day-of timeline to the wedding party
Collect any items that need to go to the venue tomorrow (programs, favors, emergency kit)
Frequently Asked Questions
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally, the groom's family hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner. This custom holds in about 60% of weddings today. Modern alternatives include splitting costs between both families, or the couple paying for it themselves — especially common when couples are older or financially independent. Average rehearsal dinner costs range from $1,500-$5,000 for 30-60 guests.
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
The core guest list includes the wedding party and their partners, immediate family members, the officiant and their partner, and any readers or special participants in the ceremony. Out-of-town guests are often invited as a hospitality gesture, which can double the headcount. Keep the list at 25-40% of your wedding guest count to maintain an intimate feel.
How formal should a rehearsal dinner be?
Most rehearsal dinners are 1-2 notches below the wedding formality level. If the wedding is black-tie, a smart-casual restaurant dinner works well. Popular formats include restaurant buyouts ($40-$80 per person), backyard barbecues ($20-$40 per person), and casual pizzeria gatherings ($15-$30 per person). The relaxed tone lets both families mingle before the high-energy wedding day.
How long does a typical rehearsal dinner last?
Plan for 2.5-3.5 hours total: 30 minutes for cocktails and arrival, 1.5-2 hours for dinner, and 30-60 minutes for toasts and socializing. End by 9:30-10 PM so the wedding party gets adequate rest. If you include a slideshow, toasts, or speeches, cap the program portion at 30-40 minutes to keep energy high without dragging.
Do you give gifts at the rehearsal dinner?
The couple traditionally gives thank-you gifts to the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner — bridesmaids gifts average $30-$75 each and groomsmen gifts average $25-$60 each. Parents sometimes receive a sentimental gift as well. Guests do not bring gifts to the rehearsal dinner; wedding gifts are given at or before the wedding reception.