A practical guide to writing and sending wedding thank-you cards, covering timelines, tracking systems, personalization, gift acknowledgment, addressing, stamps, and pre-wedding gift thanks.
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Timeline and Planning
Send all thank-you cards within 3 months of the wedding
The traditional rule is 3 months, but aim for 4-6 weeks if you can. Guests notice when cards arrive late. After 3 months, people start wondering if their gift was received. Set a weekly goal — 15-20 cards per week is manageable.
Start writing cards during the honeymoon downtime or the first week back
Block 30 minutes every evening for card writing until done
Send thank-yous for pre-wedding gifts within 2 weeks of receiving them
Shower gifts, engagement gifts, and early mailed gifts deserve immediate thanks — don't wait until after the wedding. A quick handwritten note within 2 weeks shows attentiveness.
Order thank-you cards 4-6 weeks before the wedding
Custom cards take 2-3 weeks to print and ship. Order 10-15% more than your guest count to cover mistakes and additional thank-yous (vendors, parents' friends, coworkers). A set of 100 custom cards costs $80-$200.
Tracking System
Create a gift tracking spreadsheet before the wedding
Columns: guest name, gift received, date received, thank-you written date, thank-you mailed date. Start filling it in at the shower and keep updating through the wedding. This prevents both missed and duplicate thank-yous.
Include a column for mailing address so you have everything in one place
Note any gifts with no card attached — follow up with the gift giver
Assign someone to log gifts and cards at the reception
At the reception, one person should open each card, note the gift or amount, and keep the card with the envelope (which has the return address). Without this step, you'll have 30 unidentified gift envelopes the next day.
Cross-reference the registry purchased list with physical gifts received
Registry platforms show who bought what, but off-registry gifts and cash need manual tracking. Within a week of the wedding, reconcile your spreadsheet with the registry report. This catches any gifts lost in transit.
Writing Personalized Notes
Mention the specific gift in every thank-you card
Never write a generic 'thank you for the gift.' Name it: 'Thank you for the copper cookware set.' For cash gifts, mention what you'll put it toward: 'Your generous gift is going toward our kitchen renovation fund.'
Add a personal sentence about the guest or your relationship
Reference a specific moment: 'It meant so much to see you on the dance floor' or 'Your toast had everyone laughing.' This takes 10 extra seconds per card but transforms it from a formality into something the recipient will actually appreciate.
Keep each note to 3-5 handwritten sentences
More than 5 sentences feels like a letter; fewer than 3 feels thin. Structure: thank them for attending, acknowledge the gift, personal comment, forward-looking closer. This formula works for every guest without sounding repetitive.
Both partners should sign every card
Alternate who writes — divide the list by side of the family
Handle tricky situations with grace
For guests who came but didn't give a gift, send a thank-you for attending — don't mention gifts at all. For duplicate gifts, thank warmly without mentioning the duplicate. For cash, never state the specific dollar amount in the card.
Addressing and Mailing
Use formal addressing for thank-you card envelopes
Match the formality of your invitations. If you addressed invitations to 'Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,' use the same format. For couples with different last names, include both full names. Never abbreviate street names on formal mail.
Add your return address to every envelope in case of delivery issues
Buy the correct postage before you start writing
Standard first-class stamps cover most cards, but square or oversized envelopes require extra postage ($0.24-$0.46 extra). Weigh one finished card at the post office before buying stamps in bulk. International cards need $1.55+ in postage.
Mail cards in batches rather than all at once
Sending 15-20 cards per week keeps the task manageable and ensures you don't burn out. Prioritize: elderly relatives and close family first, then friends, then coworkers and distant relatives.
Verify all addresses are current before mailing
Use the addresses from your RSVP responses, not your invitation list — people move. If you're unsure, a quick text asking to confirm their mailing address is better than a card returned to sender after 2-3 weeks.
Special Thank-Yous
Write separate, longer thank-you notes to parents and the wedding party
Parents and bridal party members gave more than a gift — they gave time, money, and emotional support. Write a full page or include a small gift with the card. A $25-$50 gift card or a framed photo from the wedding goes a long way.
Thank parents specifically for what they contributed (financially, emotionally, logistically)
Include a favorite photo from the wedding in each wedding party thank-you
Send thank-you notes to vendors who went above and beyond
Vendors don't expect thank-you notes but deeply appreciate them. A short email or card to your photographer, planner, or caterer — especially with a positive online review — is the best thank-you a vendor can receive.
Thank guests who traveled a significant distance
Guests who flew in or drove 3+ hours made a real sacrifice. Acknowledge it specifically: 'We know the trip from Seattle was long, and it meant everything to have you there.' This small detail makes people feel truly seen.
Frequently Asked Questions
How soon after an event should thank-you cards be sent?
Send thank-you cards within 2 weeks of receiving a gift or attending an event. For weddings, etiquette allows up to 3 months, but sending within 1 month leaves a stronger impression. Guests who receive thank-you notes within 2 weeks are 60% more likely to remember the gesture positively long-term.
How long should a thank-you note be?
A thank-you note should be 3-5 sentences — enough to feel personal without being a chore to read. Mention the specific gift or gesture, explain how you plan to use it or why it mattered, and close with a warm sentiment. Anything under 2 sentences feels generic, and anything over a full page comes across as over-the-top.
Is it acceptable to send thank-you cards by email instead of mail?
For casual events like dinner parties or small favors, email thank-yous are perfectly fine. For weddings, baby showers, and milestone gifts, a handwritten card is still the expected standard — 78% of gift-givers in surveys say they prefer receiving a physical note for significant occasions. Digital cards via platforms like Paperless Post split the difference and work for semi-formal events.
What is the average cost of printed thank-you cards?
Basic boxed thank-you cards run $8-$15 for a pack of 20 at most stationery stores. Custom-printed cards with photos or personalized designs cost $0.75-$2.00 per card through services like Minted, Shutterfly, or Zazzle. Add $0.68 per card for postage (current USPS first-class stamp price), so a full set of 50 custom cards with mailing runs about $85-$135 total.
Do kids need to write their own thank-you cards?
Children ages 7 and up can write a short 1-2 sentence thank-you with parental guidance — it teaches gratitude and the habit sticks. For younger children, a parent writes the note and the child can add a drawing or their name. Many families make it a group activity the weekend after birthdays or holidays, turning it into a 20-minute session rather than a drawn-out obligation.