Wedding Reception Planning: Music and Entertainment
Plan a reception that keeps guests entertained from the first dance to the last song. Covers music selection, dance order, toasts, entertainment, timeline structure, and keeping the energy high all night.
Last updated:
0 of 35 completed0%
Copied!
Reception Timeline Structure
Build a minute-by-minute reception timeline with your DJ or band leader
A 5-hour reception typically flows: cocktail hour (60 min), couple's entrance and first dance (10 min), dinner (75-90 min), toasts during dinner (20-30 min), parent dances (10 min), open dancing (90-120 min), bouquet/garter toss (10 min), last dance and send-off (10 min). Build 15-minute buffers between blocks — nothing runs on time.
Draft the full timeline from cocktail hour through send-off
Share the timeline with the DJ, coordinator, caterer, and photographer
Plan the cocktail hour (60 minutes)
Cocktail hour covers the gap while the couple takes photos. Offer 3-5 passed appetizers or 2-3 food stations plus a bar. Background music should be upbeat but conversational-volume — save the loud music for dancing later. Station a wedding party member to greet guests and keep energy up.
Select cocktail hour food and drink menu
Choose background music playlist or request from DJ
Plan the couple's grand entrance
Pick an entrance song that gets the room on their feet — upbeat, recognizable, and personal. The DJ should announce the wedding party first, building energy, then introduce the newlyweds last. Keep the total entrance sequence under 5 minutes so the energy stays high.
Schedule dinner service to last 75-90 minutes
Plated dinners take longer (90 minutes with 3 courses) than buffet or family-style (60-75 minutes). Schedule toasts during dinner — between courses for plated, or 15 minutes into the meal for buffet — so guests eat and listen simultaneously rather than sitting through both separately.
Music Selection and Dance Order
Choose your first dance song
Pick a song that means something to you as a couple, not just a popular wedding song. Keep it under 3 minutes — longer songs lose the room's attention. If you're not confident dancers, take 3-4 dance lessons in the weeks before. Even basic steps look polished with practice.
Choose the parent dance songs
Keep parent dances to 90 seconds to 2 minutes each. The DJ can fade the song after 90 seconds and invite all couples to join, which fills the floor and reduces awkwardness. If a parent is deceased or absent, skip the dance or substitute with a sibling or grandparent.
Father-daughter dance song
Mother-son dance song
Build a must-play and do-not-play list for the DJ
Give the DJ 15-25 must-play songs that span genres and decades to keep all age groups happy. The do-not-play list is equally important — include any songs that are overdone, offensive to your crowd, or tied to bad memories. Trust the DJ to read the room for everything else.
Must-play list: 15-25 songs across genres and decades
Do-not-play list: songs to avoid
Plan the last dance song
The last dance is the final memory guests take home. Choose something sentimental and singable that everyone knows. Some couples pick an upbeat anthem to end on a high; others pick a slow, intimate song for a quiet moment together. Either works — match it to your personality.
Discuss the music flow and energy arc with the DJ
A great DJ builds energy in a wave: medium during dinner, high for first dances and opening the floor, brief cool-down, then escalating peaks through the night. The biggest energy should hit 60-90 minutes before the end. A flat energy level means a flat dance floor.
Toasts and Speeches
Decide who gives toasts and set a speaking order
Standard order: best man, maid of honor, parents (optional), couple's thank-you. Limit to 3-4 speakers at the reception — more than that and guests disengage. Longer, more personal speeches belong at the rehearsal dinner. Reception toasts should be 2-4 minutes each.
Best man's toast
Maid of honor's toast
Parent toast (optional)
Couple's thank-you toast
Brief all speakers on timing and content expectations
Tell speakers: 2-4 minutes max (that's 300-500 words), one funny story, one heartfelt moment, end with a toast to the couple. Inside jokes that only 3 people understand should be cut. Drinking stories should be mild. If a speaker is nervous, suggest they write it out and read from notes — there's no shame in that.
Schedule toasts during dinner, not after
Toasts during the meal keep the evening moving and prevent a 30-minute speech block that kills dance-floor momentum. Place them between courses (plated) or 15 minutes into eating (buffet). The DJ should cue each speaker and keep a wireless mic ready.
Entertainment and Activities
Decide on the bouquet and garter toss (or skip them)
These traditions are optional and increasingly skipped. If you include them, schedule them between dinner and open dancing as a transition activity — they take 5-10 minutes total. An alternative: the anniversary dance, where all married couples dance and the DJ eliminates couples by years married until the longest-married couple remains.
Set up a photo booth or interactive station
A photo booth with props keeps guests entertained during downtime and produces fun keepsakes. Place it near the bar or lounge area where people naturally gather. A guest book station where guests leave Polaroid photos with handwritten messages doubles as entertainment and a memory book.
Plan the send-off or exit
Sparkler send-offs photograph beautifully but require coordination. Use 20-inch sparklers (they burn 3-4 minutes vs. 30 seconds for standard ones). Light from one end of the line so all sparklers are burning when the couple walks through. The photographer needs a 10-second heads-up before the exit.
Assign someone to distribute send-off items and line up guests
Prepare a late-night snack for the final hour (optional)
A late-night food station at hour 4-5 re-energizes the dance floor and is a crowd favorite. Pizza slices, sliders, tacos, or a donut wall cost $5-$10 per person and keep guests partying longer. Place it near the dance floor, not tucked in a corner.
Keeping the Energy High
Minimize dead time between reception events
Every gap over 5 minutes kills momentum. The DJ should fill transitions with music and announcements. A lull between dinner and dancing is the danger zone — schedule the first dances immediately after toasts so the dance floor opens while energy is still up.
Get the wedding party on the dance floor early
After the first dance and parent dances, the DJ should invite the wedding party to join, then all couples, then everyone. A half-empty floor discourages shy dancers. The bridesmaids and groomsmen should commit to dancing hard for the first 3-4 songs to pull others in.
Keep the bar accessible and the drinks flowing
Long bar lines kill dance-floor energy. For 100+ guests, have at least 2 bar stations. Place one near the dance floor. If budget allows, add a roaming cocktail server during peak dancing hours. Signature cocktails in batches speed up service compared to full custom orders.
Trust the DJ to read the room
A good DJ watches the floor and adjusts genre, tempo, and volume in real time. If guests aren't dancing to the planned set, the DJ should pivot — not stubbornly stick to the playlist. Brief the DJ on your crowd demographics (age range, musical tastes) so they start in the right direction.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should a wedding reception last?
Most wedding receptions run 4-5 hours, starting with a cocktail hour (1 hour), dinner (1.5 hours), and dancing (2-2.5 hours). Receptions under 3 hours feel rushed, while those over 6 hours see significant guest drop-off after hour 5. An early-afternoon reception (2-7 PM) costs 10-20% less than evening receptions at many venues due to lower bar consumption.
What is the typical timeline for a wedding reception?
A standard 5-hour evening reception flows as: 6:00-7:00 PM cocktail hour, 7:00-7:15 PM grand entrance and first dance, 7:15-8:30 PM dinner service with toasts, 8:30-8:45 PM cake cutting, 8:45-10:45 PM open dancing, 10:30 PM last call, 10:45 PM send-off. Give your DJ or band the timeline in writing 2 weeks ahead so transitions are smooth.
How much does wedding catering cost per person?
Buffet-style catering averages $40-$80 per person, plated dinner service runs $70-$150 per person, and family-style (shared platters) falls between at $55-$100 per person. These prices typically include service staff but not bar costs, which add $15-$50 per person depending on open bar, limited bar, or beer-and-wine-only options. Tax and 20-22% service charges are usually added on top.
Do I need a cocktail hour at my wedding reception?
A cocktail hour serves a practical purpose — it gives guests something to do during the 45-60 minutes while the wedding party takes photos after the ceremony. Without it, guests wait in the reception space with nothing happening. If you take photos before the ceremony, you can shorten cocktail hour to 30 minutes or skip it and move straight into the reception entrance.